Is That A Gun In Your Pocket...?

New plans for X-ray cameras to be placed in high street furniture to spy on the public have been revealed. In a bid to further anti-terror objectives the cameras can effectively render people naked revealing any hidden weapons or bombs. The plans are sure to cause public outrage as the invasion into privacy reaches those private places we thought safe from the Governments prying eyes.

Nick Iddley, 25, said, "It's ridiculous. I don't want to be walking down the street while nameless operators can see my family jewels," he went on to say, "or named operators for that matter."

It was suggested that only female operators be used to look at female members of the public yet how that would work in a crowd is yet to be figured out.

One CCTV operator who would be involved in the scheme said last night "I work in London and regularly see John Prescott on my camera. If seeing him naked is meant to be anti-terror then they need to go back to the drawing board. I'm terrified just thinking about it."

The Gekko shudders to think.

Government spokesman, Ray Jeame, 37, said, "These plans are there to improve pubic safety...I mean public safety. Not pubic, that would be wrong." He blushed terribly.

Given the current trends of this Government The Gekko has to wonder why they don't save themselves the time and trouble and just tag and barcode babies as they crown, have fingerprints and DNA samples taken right away, implant some GPS tracking chip and be done with it.

Welcome to the Brave New World.

by Ray Zinn-Love Current Affairs Editor