I Have A Chip On My Shoulder I Don't Need One In My Head

A recent leak from the Government revealed plans to inject newborn children with brain altering drugs to stop narcotics having any effect. It is believed these immunisations would help cut the massive bill for drug treatment and possibly even stop addiction completely.

A further development is the announcement from the science think tank Valetudo International Bio-Engineering or V.I.B.E. that they have developed a micro chip to be installed in the brain.

The benefits for many things from Police work to anthropology are huge they say. Equipped with GPS tracking systems the chip would provide an accurate and live feed of the persons location enabling everyone to be followed by dedicated satellite.

Chief designer of the chip, Dr. Tom Foolery, 47, said, "We are also close to finishing an add on to be placed on the ocular nerve which, when linked to the brain chip provides a record of everything seen by the individual and his or her reactions to it. You can see the potential not just for security but for advertising too. All this data would be down-loadable also. You could set up live links to the internet. You could in effect become a walking wireless web-cam."

Human rights groups are up in arms over the proposals saying the invasion of privacy would be terrible.

They are joined by religious groups, who say the dissolution of the human body into the machine should be halted.

One industry who welcome the proposals is the porn industry. Aitken Balls, 38, owner of Big Balls Movies said last night,"This would be great. A real goldmine for us. It'd turn the whole world into virtual porn stars."

The Gekko is worried by the constant desire to alter and change the human body. Yes medical advance is good and a necessary thing but isn't changing the brain with drugs in an effort to stop drugs changing the brain just a little bit ironic?

And as for the chip, if it does happen, perhaps we should ask ourselves this:

Where the spying Governments and porn industry lead, should we follow?

by Pete Riddish Science Editor & special thanks to Student of Life for story lead