Mayor Hallen Derrick, 47, of Gunpoint, Texas has once again tried to boost his towns falling tourism numbers by opening the towns first casino. "Hardin's Casino is a state of the art enterprise" declared Mayor Derrick at the opening.
The towns economy has been troubled since malicious rumours of astronomical crime rates were circulated and for years the townsfolk have been at pains to point out that not everyone who was "held up at Gunpoint" was actually in their town.
The local sherriff pointed out that even if that were true Gunpoint was the only town in the US to have a murder rate of zero unlike nearby Houston which has a murder rate of 16.3. Sherriff Dick Dickerson, 52, said "It's safe here. You never heard of anyone being killed at Gunpoint did ya?"
It remains to be seen if this desperate action will save the ailing town, once the focus of huge tourism as the home of the largest hat made entirely of meat. The hat has since disappeared. Another blow to the despondent townsfolk.
Local man Dwight Dwighterson, 84, said "I loved that big ol' meat hat. It put us on the map. It gave us somethin' to be proud of; somethin' to fight for." Dwight wandered off then, clearly upset and was last seen by this reporter having a drunken fight with his neighbours horse.
Gunpoints' tourist advisor Dolly Dollerson, 29, said that people should visit the town. "Visit the town" she said.
The Gekko offers one caveat to any intrepid reader who visits the town of Gunpoint. We were held up at Gunpoint, it was a deeply traumatic experience and one we would not like any of you to suffer. Traffic in that town is a bitch!
written by Penn Anninck Arts & Culture Editor
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